You want to know how to stop negative thoughts and feel better, cause that’s what we all want, right? To be happy? To feel calm?
But sometimes that feels impossible. Negative thoughts permeate into your world all day long.
You worry about how to pay for your kids braces. You fume about the coworker taking credit for your idea. You feel sad every time you think about your parents’ divorce.
All of that stuff? It’s coming from the thoughts in your head.
You can stop negative thoughts (and change how you’re feeling) by changing the thoughts running through your mind. Your thoughts are what are making you cantankerous and agitated, and you can, I repeat, you CAN change them.
How to Stop Negative Thoughts
I find thinking of your mind as a radio dial to be helpful. Let’s say you’re on channel 93.5, easy listening FM, when things are going smoothly in your day. Then a car cuts you off, or you find out the deadline on a work project just got moved up by two weeks. Suddenly you’re on channel 106.5, the angry thrasher music channel.
You keep thinking angry thoughts over and over and over again, about how this is unfair and how life always treats you badly and on and on and on. The day gets progressively worse, and the whole time you’re just keeping your radio tuned to 106.5 and listening to that angry thrasher music.
Eventually, you calm down. Maybe it takes hours, maybe it takes days. Now you’re either back on the easy listening channel, or perhaps you’re on a another channel that plays hard rock, but isn’t quite as angry and thrasher-y as that other channel. Eventually you notice the dial is back on easy listening, at least for a little while.
In this scenario, you’re passively waiting for the dial to get turned back to a more pleasant station, aka a place where you brain is supplying you with more pleasant thoughts (everything will be okay, this is just temporary, I know I can get through this). What’s important for you to know is that you’re in charge of the radio dial and can actively, on purpose, change the channel. This is how you learn to stop negative thoughts. By taking control.
Stop, take a breath, and decide you’re going to change the channel.
How to Change the Channel Yourself
#1 BREATHE
Take some deep breaths. Not just with the intention of calming down, but with intention of bringing your mind back to this moment. Focus on breathing in, then out. Do it again.
#2 APPRECIATE
Notice the things around you that you feel appreciative about. “I appreciate that I have a car to drive, I appreciate that I have a job, I appreciate that I have electricity, that I have clean drinking water, that it smells so nice in here,” etc.
#3 FEEL YOUR INNER BODY
Feel the energy in your hands. This may sound a little weird, but just for a moment, close your eyes and hold your hands up. Ask yourself, “how do I know that my hands are still there?” You can feel them. You can feel inside them. Once you know how to access this feeling/energy, you can do it any time, anywhere, and it brings you right back to now (which can help stop negative thoughts). Psst, there’s a free meditation that shows you how to do just this below.
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#4 QUESTION THE THOUGHT
Ask yourself if the thought you’re thinking is even true. Sometimes our minds blow things WAY OUT OF PROPORTION. Byron Katie has a great set of questions to help you question a limiting belief, but it can be as simple as asking, “Is it true that I never, ever get anything right? Can I think of some times when I have gotten things right?”
If nothing is working, try distracting yourself (celebrity gossip always helps me!), try meditating, try calling a friend and talking about another situation (NOT the thing that’s upsetting you!), go to sleep if you can, listen to an uplifting podcast, just do SOMETHING.
#5 BE CREATIVE
Do something creative. Sometimes writing in a journal, creating a painting, or simply putting color on paper will help you get you out of your head and change the channel to something more positive. If that sounds good you, come join the 14 Day Art + Soul Journaling Challenge and get started!
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Make the choice to let go of negative thoughts
The point isn’t to know exactly what to do every time, the point is to set the intention that when a negative situation comes up, you’ll make an effort to get yourself back to a more peaceful place as soon as possible, whatever way works in the moment.
I have found that just recognizing I’m broadcasting the negative thoughts to myself and that I have a choice to change the channel is very, very helpful. Does that mean I’m walking around in perfect peace and alignment all the time? No, but it does mean I don’t stay in funks for as long as I would have in the past.
I find knowing that I have control over what I’m telling myself very, very powerful. We are not victims in our lives, were are the creators. When you focus on what is going well, when you intentionally appreciate and put your attention on what is going right, your life will start to feel better in every single way.