Have you ever wanted to be more mindful and wondered how to do it? But then you’re like, “well, I’m not wearing a white linen caftan and living in Sedona and I don’t really like meditating, and my life is really busy, so this probably isn’t for me”?
Then this post is for you.
Why You Want to Be More Mindful
So I was listening to this episode of Fresh Air the other day, and Terry was interviewing Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier, a book about learning to meditate to calm anxiety and such. I’ve heard of him before, though I’ve never read his book, and his work has become particularly poignant during these strange times we’re living in.
He’s known for being skeptical and definitely not a woo-woo kind of fellow, so I think he particularly appeals to people who thing meditation and mindfulness is kind of out there or “not for them.”
I appreciated the way Harris talked about the scientific benefits of meditation and mindfulness, because it makes my brain feel like it’s “right” to be more mindful and to meditate each night. I already know in my soul it feels good, but this brain of mine still likes evidence.
Here are some quick stats, based on science ‘n’ stuff:
- Mindfulness reduces anxiety (yes it does!)
- It makes you feel better about your body
- Can help the brain reduce distraction
- When coupled with other therapies, it may reduce depression
You can find a TON of research on the topic; just google “scientific benefits of mindfulness.” Basically, mindfulness makes your life better. It makes you more present to yourself and the people around you. It makes it easier to connect with your soul. It makes you more productive, since you’re actually focusing on one thing instead of twenty. It makes you feel happier.
And, FYI, this post is about being mindful, not about meditating, though many of the same suggestions apply.
Why It’s So Hard to Be Mindful
Oh, my. Why is it hard to be mindful? It’s that pesky mind of yours, always telling you to go, go, go, to pick up your phone, to check your email, to make plans and clean stuff and hustle.
Exhale with me, will you?
Our minds are trained from a very young age that we should be doing stuff. We shouldn’t just sit and be. Checking things off lists is very important. Multitasking is best!
On top of our busy minds, these days we all have teeny, tiny computers attached to our hands approximately 17 hours a day. They ping, they vibrate, they reward the pleasure centers of our brains with new notifications and emails and likes.
It’s as if the world is actively working against our desire to be mindful.
Unless you’re being raised in the mountains somewhere, without electricity, without the internet, and by parents who are very, very crunchy, you’re just not taught to be mindful. And your life doesn’t support mindfulness in any way.
What Being Mindful Really Means
Here’s what I wish I’d understood many, many moons ago: Mindfulness basically means only paying attention to one thing at once.
THAT’S IT!
It’s not some huge, esoteric, impossible to grasp thing that’s only for other people, it’s simply the act of giving your attention to one thing at a time, then bringing your attention back to that thing if you get distracted.
Here’s an example.
Let’s say you’re me, writing this blog post. If I’m only focusing on writing this post, letting the words flow through me, keeping my computer only open to this screen, and am actually in it, you know, doing the one thing I’m doing, I’m being mindful. Bam.
But, let’s say you get distracted. You get up and get something to eat. While you’re eating you’re toggling between reading celebrity gossip and checking your email. You’re spilling cereal on your key board. You’re typing one sentence of this blog post every couple of minutes. Now you’re not being mindful.
It’s truly that simple.
This can be applied to ANYTHING in your life. If you’re with your kids and they’re asking you questions and you’re giving half assed answers because you’re looking at your Instagram feed (I have NO experience with this AT ALL, just so we’re clear), then you are not being mindful.
If you’re talking a walk with the intention of looking at the spring blossoms or hearing the birds sing or just getting away from it all for a while, but instead you’re taking phone calls from work or letting your mind go on and on (and on) about that conversation you had with your spouse this morning, you are not being mindful.
But the fix is easy. All you have to do is bring your attention back to the ONE thing you’re doing. And then do it again. And again. Because this is simple, but not easy.
How to Be More Findful (Even if You’re Just a Regular Person)
#1 Pick one thing to focus on.
It’s so deceptively simple!!! Just pick a thing, any thing, and do only it! Only listen to your breath. Only fold laundry. Only take a shower and actually feel the water hitting you.
But it’s not so easy, is it? Your thoughts will start jumping in immediately. It’s just what they do–for now.
#2 Focus only on the one thing
Now that you’ve picked your one thing, really do it. Really be in it. Feel the softness of the fur of the cat or dog you’re petting. Listen to the sound their breath makes. Look inside at the calmness you feel while you’re with our furry friend.
Breathe in and out. Keep bringing your attention to the one thing. To lacing up your sneakers. To loading the dishwasher. To painting your toenails. To peeling a banana.
Pay attention to that one thing.
#3 When you realize you’re distracted, go back to the one thing
I love this part! This is the whole thing!
When you (inevitably) get distracted from what you were doing, when you notice you’re thinking about money again, or your weight, or the annoying thing your kid did, bring your attention back to the one thing.
Don’t get mad at yourself. You’re playing a game. This can be fun! Be thankful you noticed you got distracted and simply bring your attention back to what you were doing.
#4 Repeat. Forever.
So you’ve brought your attention back to cutting carrots or folding towels. And, within moments, your mind is off again. Now it’s dreaming about an ice cream sundae. When you notice, simply bring your attention back to what you were doing.
Pick a thing.
Focus on it.
Notice you got distracted and refocus.
That’s all it takes to be mindful. It’s like learning any other skill–you must actually do it if you want to get good at it!
Some Final Thoughts on Mindfulness
You don’t have to be a certain kind of person to become mindful. You don’t have to take yoga or have strong abs or live in a fancy urban area. You just have to be willing to pay attention to one thing at a time, any time you think of it. That’s it.
This will add immeasurably to your life. It will bring peace, gratitude, and calm. It will bring pleasure in the little things.
If you want to be more present, if you want to feel more centered, give it a try. And if you want some dedicated you time, try the free 14 Day Art + Soul Journaling Challenge!
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