I really, REALLY Want to stop
I’ve recently become fixated on how to get myself to stop making excuses.
If you didn’t catch it on Instagram last week, I told you I am obsessed with Jen Sincero. She’s a writer and speaker and self help kinda person, but she’s got a fun, sassy edge. (Is sassy a word that I’m allowed to use this century? Not sure on that.)
I’m reading both her book You’re a Badass and You’re a Badass at Making Money right now. I can’t remember which book says this, I think it’s the money one, but this quote stopped me cold:
“The walls of your comfort zone are lovingly decorated with your lifelong collection of favorite excuses.”
OH MY GOSH YES!!!!
what making excuses feels like
Lately I’ve noticed I get a certain feeling when resistance (aka an excuse) is bubbling up. I get a sort of clenched feeling in my chest, a mild panic sets in, and I feel a little like I’m going to throw up.
That’s my body alerting me to the fact that I’m about to come up with a “very good” reason to NOT do the thing that’s scaring me so. This is exactly why I need to stop making excuses.
It happened to me this week when I saw that copy editing for my website was available through a 12 week Making Art Work class that I’m currently enrolled in.
I felt nervous. I felt freaked out. My mind immediately started reassuring me that I did NOT have to do this scary thing. The excuses were so blended together and so comforting that I almost gave in.
I didn’t do that, though. I said yes.
Then I was told I had to take yet another step in order to pursue this path, and once again, the excuses bubbled up. I ignored them and followed through anyway.
After that, the copywriter emailed me and I had to confirm some things before she’d review my website, and AGAIN, I almost closed out my inbox and didn’t respond, but I remembered my commitment to stop making excuses (which is code for steamrolling my fears).
how making excuses will stunt your life
Guys, this is SO IMPORTANT. You WILL NOT get to your dream life if you let excuses run rampant over your mind body and soul. You. Will. Not. I know, because I’m still very much a work in progress and I can see that I’m not as far as I want to be/could be because I let fear and excuses get in the way.
When your soul, your heart, you intuition, whatever you want to call it, let’s you know to do something, it’s natural for your mind to freak out.
Your mind wants control, stability, and predictability. Sometimes your soul asks for something else, though, and that is beyond frightening to your mind.
That’s when excuses start showing up. Your mind simply cannot believe that traveling the world or selling your purse collection or becoming friends with that lady who has all the birds could possibly be a good idea.
Your mind doesn’t know what’s up, though. It doesn’t know what your spirit has in store for you. And your mind has certainly led you astray before–have you seen those pants you were wearing in 2002???
Let me be clear about one thing, though: We all do too much. We say yes to things our soul does NOT want to do because our minds make us feel guilty about saying no. When I’m talking about making excuses, I’m talking about those fear-based excuses that are keeping you small and keeping you from living your life to its fullest.
how i’m saying no to excuses and you can, too
#1 Become aware of how your body tells you it’s freaked out.
Your body is unbelievably smart. It’s sending you all sorts of signals that your mind straight up ignores. In fact, when you get excited about something, that’s part of your body compass telling you that, yes, this thing is a great idea for you.
When that excitement quickly turns to fear, where does it show up? Your body. Maybe the pit of your stomach, maybe hives, maybe something else entirely. The bottom line is that your body is where your emotions and intuition live, so spend some time getting to know it.
#2 Become aware of the things your mind is telling you (these are the excuses you have to stop making!).
This is important because unless you know that your mind is talking (and lying) to you, you don’t know that you need to change things up. You may think your thoughts ARE you, but they’re not. They’re just a program that’s playing over and over in your head, with outdated and lousy information.
Your mind is probably telling you things like:
- You don’t have time to do that right now
- Your family might be mad if you do that
- You can do that later
- If you do that and fail, it will be painful
- You don’t have the money for that
- You might get called out/put down if you do that
Sound familiar? Yup, it happens to all of us. Becoming aware that it’s even happening is a HUGE step forward in busting through your (mind’s) lame excuses.
#3 Here’s the all-important final step: DO IT ANYWAY.
You will be able to find excuses up until the day you die. And then your time as the you that you currently are, the one who has your particular talents and ambitions, is no longer able to share those with the world.
Your excuses are just fears. You don’t have to believe them. I used to think I didn’t have time to build a business when I was working full time, but then I had a child and realized, WHOA, I had so, so much time on my hands, I just didn’t realize it.Yes, it’s possible you’ll fail. Yes, it’s possible it won’t work out the way you wanted it to. But I promise you, if you don’t bust through your excuses, you’ll both fail (because you can’t succeed if you don’t even try) AND it won’t work out the way you wanted, because nothing will have happened at all.
Let me say it again: You’re only you for this limited time on earth. Even if you believe in the afterlife or reincarnation or what not, when you come back, you ain’t gonna be the same you. I might be really into drag racing and tractor maintenance next time around. You just don’t know.
Please, use the talents and desires you have right now to do the things you want to do. The world needs you.
If you’re trying to hear from your true self and don’t know where to start, why not get the free guide? It can’t hurt.
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