Lately I’ve been wondering how to stop thinking so much. Because thinking is the thing that gets us all in trouble.
Seriously, think about it (ha!!).
When are you your most stressed out? Probably when you’re thinking about all of the stuff you need to get done before the end of the day.
When are you the most ticked off? Maybe when you’re thinking through the list of things your sister/husband/mom/boss/kid/college professor should have done differently and how wrong they are about that thing. You know the one.
When are you the most full of regrets? Possibly when you spend time thinking about all the things you wish you’d done differently, from traveling more to letting someone special get away to wishing you hadn’t dropped out of college.
Every single one of these emotions is caused by thinking.
I need to think, though! Don’t I?
Okay, yes, you need to think. But really take a look at your thinking. Notice it. Become aware of it.
Are you using thinking to your advantage? Say, to balance your check book or research the best price on plane tickets for an upcoming trip? Or is thinking taking advantage of you? Is it running the show, taking it with you for the ride?
Most people are not at all aware, in any shape or form, that they don’t have to believe their thoughts. They also don’t realize that their thoughts are mostly repetitive and almost completely useless–how many times do you really have to remind yourself to drop off the Redbox on the way home? (Just write it down and let it go!)
Some thoughts are worse than useless, they’re lies. In fact, I’d wager that at least half of what our minds are telling us all day long is complete made up garbage. You’re body isn’t the right size? You’ll never have enough money? You can’t ever climb out of this horrible relationship? You’re directionless and always will be? You probably have cancer and will be dead before the New Year? Any of that ring a bell? Doesn’t that make you want to stop thinking so much?
How to stop thinking so damn much
So let’s say you’re into this idea. Thinking isn’t helping you, in fact, it’s ruling your life. How do you stop what feels like an unstoppable train?
#1 First and foremost, notice that you’re thinking all the freaking time.
If you’re not aware that your thoughts are dragging you around by your hair, you won’t be able to stop them. Ever. You’re stuck in the belief that your thoughts are part of you and that they’re all true. That’s simply not where you want to be be.
The answer is always awareness. Notice that you’re thinking. That your mind says the same things over and over and over. That many of your thoughts are negative and make you feel bad about yourself. Just pay attention.
#2 Pause.
Stop looking at the computer screen, stop scrolling on Insta, stop watching Stranger Things. Just stop. See if you can find a space between your incessant thoughts, just for a moment.
This is challenging and I’d be a lying liar if I told you otherwise. Your mind’s job is to think, plain and simple, so of course it’s going to do just that.
When you become aware of the endless loop of your thoughts, though, you’ll realize you’d like a break. A great way to get that is to pause. Put your attention on your breath, or close your eyes and ask yourself how you know your hands are still there (try it, it’s fun!).
#3 Learn to meditate.
I know, I know, you’ve tried meditation before and it doesn’t work for you. Meditating is hard. Really hard. Do you know why? Because your thoughts control you, that’s why. You can’t stop them, ever, so meditation feels impossible. But guess what? Meditation is one thing that really, truly, does help you stop them. Not just when you’re meditating, but other times, too.
#4 Find a consistent way to bring your attention back to this moment.
Thoughts are almost always about the future or the past, so if you can bring your attention back to right this second, you have a good chance of breaking free from the roller coaster ride going on in your noggin.
One recommendation is to focus on one or two completely breath cycles (Inhale, pause, exhale, pause). You can also just look outside and notice a bird or a tree, and pay attention to how long you can focus on that instead of thinking about when the water bill is due.
You might also want to set a timer, perhaps for once per hour, and when it goes off, make the conscious choice to come back to right now.
One more great way to let go of thoughts is to start a creative practice. It doesn’t have to be art, necessarily, but anything that takes your mind off of, well, your mind, will greatly benefit you. If you do have an interest in art, though, try these this free therapeutic art activity!